Those of you saying “I have the best dad/mom/sister.” Because I do. I’m just playing around. But God really did bless me with my family and friends. I know. How often do you hear people saying they’re thankful for those two things? But if you have those two things, especially when there’s genuinely love from them to you as well as you to them, how can you not? And it makes me happy that a lot of people are thankful for family and friends. It proves that these two relationships were distinctly made by God for something overwhelmingly particular and special. And why do I credit God for my family and friends? Because what did I do to deserve them? The amount of love I feel for them is kind of ridiculous. And I know it can’t totally be from someone as selfish as I am. I know God put these people in my life and in my heart. (There’s no getting around the cheesiness in saying that. I’ve tried and failed.) My family’s not the Brady Bunch, but it’s pretty awesome. My parents and my sister pray for me! I know prayer isn’t something everyone participates in, but I think prayer holds this deep desperation that people-when at that desperate point-have a hard time not being drawn to. My family loves me so much. To the point where it’s too much for them. They know that what they, alone, can do is not enough and turn to someone greater to give their all to me and more. For instance, my parents would be devastated if anything were to happen to me while they were in LA and I was in NY. But their flesh can only do so much. As much as they love me, they can only do so much. And this parental anguish, which runs as deep as their love that initiates the anguish, draws them to talk to God. Plead to Him from a genuine place. All out of love, not out of asking for favors or bonuses. And God hears their prayers! Three months in NY, and I haven’t even caught a teeny cold. When I cough, it’s because I laughed too much. I feel like it’s an unbalanced give-and-take, but that’s exactly what grace is, eh? I know there are a lot of unanswerable circumstances, such as the kid who prayed to God that his cancer would go away but died of cancer anyway. But who am I to question God? Do I really think I’m capable of understanding God’s mysteries? As far as God’s mysteries go, as well as my understand of them, all I know is that I can’t understand them. Maybe the kid is having the best party in heaven and regrets not letting go of life on earth earlier. Who knows? Who knows anything but God and what He shares to us? But I do know, for sure, He loves His people. That He shares quite explicitly. I wish the whole world would give Him a try. There are a lot of false rumors about Him to swallow, if you want to warm up to Him and get to know who He is. But you’ll just be that much more pleased when He disproves those rumors to you Himself. He’s really not a bad guy. In fact, He’s literally perfect.
So this applies to two Fathers:
I can stay sad and mad at myself for not talking to my dad more in the past. I can hate myself for being the meanest daughter, while he consistently loved me more and more.
I can be thankful that he always loves me. And I can just keep talking to him more and more. And we can keep this relationship going two-way, finally. And I’ll just let him know how much I love him back!
“Yeah, yeah. Holocene. Holocene is a bar in Portland, Ore., but it’s also the name of a geologic era, an epoch if you will. It’s a good example of how all the songs are all meant to come together as this idea that places are times and people are places and times are… people? [Laughs.] They can all be different and the same at the same time. Most of our lives feel like these epochs. That’s kind of what that song’s about. “Once I knew I was not magnificent.” Our lives feel like these epochs, but really we are dust in the wind. But I think there’s a significance in that insignificance that I was trying to look at in that song.”—Justin Vernon on Holocene. NPR
And I will search for yours. Jesus, take my life and lead me on. Let me be to you a sacrifice. And I will praise you, Lord. I will sing of love come down. And as you show your face, we’ll see your glory here.
“Let us have joy in our troubles: in the knowledge that trouble gives us the power of waiting. And waiting gives experience; and experience, hope; and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts.”—Romans 5: 4-5 (via paigevictoria)